Farewell Party Presentation for NC’s Public Investments
6/15/11
Thank you all for coming to our going away party! Today, we’re bidding farewell to something we all love: good old North Carolina.
You see, the budget passed last night – at midnight, after most of our neighbors had gone to bed. And this budget isn’t just any budget. It sends our old friend, the North Carolina that was, into retirement.
We had some great times with you, North Carolina, and we’re here to celebrate them. For decades, we had a tradition of investing in people. We created jobs. We educated kids. Remember that? Those were good times.
And like with any good party, we should celebrate those good times as we look back!
Remember when our award-winning early childhood programs won national recognition? Remember how they helped close the achievement gap, and gave kids the tools to succeed in school? … Even though those programs have been gutted – we’ll always have those memories.
Or how about our world-class public universities? Remember how we built those together by investing for the state’s future? How they became the envy of other states? That was great.
And now, thanks to last night’s midnight vote, they’ve been cut 15%. That way, our memories can remain in the past, where we can safely idealize them.
There are those among us who would call the events of last night “cowardly.” Maybe even “shameful.”
I take a different perspective. All things come to an end – or, if you prefer, “retirement.” Besides, now we can look back on all those fond memories with you, North Carolina.
So relax! Have some lemonade, and we’ll have cake later. For now, enjoy our party favors. They’re pink slips. You might have one of these already. And if you’re feeling left out because you don’t have one, hey, with this budget, you probably will soon.
Before we cut the cake for good Old North Carolina, Rob Thompson from Together NC has a few words he’d like to say.
APOLOGY
When someone retires, it’s time to put old grudges to rest. And we’ve had a few of those, haven’t we, North Carolina?
I’m not talking about internal squabbles. Every so often, we’d get into it with that … other Carolina. I remember it like it was just this year.
Now, we don’t want to get into a he-said, she-said about “who made a video mocking who,” or “which state’s residents angrily called who for a solid month.”
But one of the reasons Together NC made our video gently poking fun at our neighbors to the south was our pride in North Carolina’s public investments. We figured that there was no way we’d ever spend less on education per student than South Carolina would!
If Old North Carolina were sticking around, we’d never have slipped below Mississippi and South Carolina in education funding. But we’re bidding Old North Carolina bon voyage today. It won’t be the same without you, old buddy.
So since we were wrong, and our lawmakers actually did let North Carolina slip below South Carolina in school funding, we’d like to say we’re sorry.
We’re sending this letter to South Carolina today.
We hope they accept our humblest apologies. I’m sure both states cherish the fact that we’re now closer to each other – at least in education funding – than ever before.
CUT THE CAKE
Now that we have the reconciliation out of the way, it’s time to cut the cake.
This is a farewell party, but it’s also a time of congratulations. We’re here to congratulate North Carolina on decades of achievement.
And as Old North Carolina goes off into the sunset, the new North Carolina – the one caused by this budget – already has at least one achievement of its own.
As you can see from the cake, we’re now 49th out of 50 states in education funding. It’s hard to make that happen overnight! Not every legislature could have done that. But ours did.
Enjoy the cake, everyone. Don’t forget to sign the farewell card to such vital public investments as education, natural resources, and health systems.
Oh, and that reminds me: don’t eat too much cake: we hear the new North Carolina isn’t thrilled about paying for catastrophic health care, either.